i feel like im turning into some weirdo.

my sketchbook is flled with such controversial nonsense, i don't know what to do with myself.
when i applied to nyu, my art and artist statement was about finding some kind of "nirvana" in figurative expression--drawing the human body and expressing it through rough lines to show emotion and feeling.

Where am I left now?
Drawing sluts and naked females in my sketchbook. I don't think that I even draw guys anymore.
My last piece with all the hands was something that I never draw or do, and it was kinda surprising. And all my latest drawings are kind of erotic and sexual and I never thought of doing something like that with my work!?!
Being raised in a moral, Christian family, I feel scandalous. Drawing naked women? Yeah, I feel kinda immoral that I get some kind of pleasure drawing butts and boobs and legs all the time? Not pleasure...that's the wrong word. But I'm interested in drawing that and why am I drawing these things? Because I know how? Because I do it well? My drawing teacher is turning me into some weird person drawing such weird things and I feel uncomfortable. He probably got the idea that I'm some weird, sexually charge kinda artist from looking at what I draw in my sketchbook, and he wants me to go even further, and refers me to some porno french literature guy and some porno artist!!! I feel so weird!

I miss drawing figures that expressed my emotions and what I feel. We don't really draw from the model anymore, and I don't really get the chance to draw guys. And I feel so weird drawing girls and ignoring guys and its not like I'm attracted to...w/e. Ugh I feel so strange and I've said that x twenty but yeah! I do! I'm gonna upload some scans in my sketchbook.

I guess all I'm saying is that I don't want to be some sexual artist. I want to go back to what I drew before. And not let God down cause I'm becoming some immoral girl.